Come Back to Me
by RadiantRed
Summary: AU in which Ciel is no longer in love with his 4 year boyfriend, Sebastian. After breaking up with Sebastian however, Ciel dated several other people. Problem being the more people he dated, he kept comparing it to his ex lover and miss him more and more. Come back to me, Sebastian. Rated M for later chapter. Lemon and a little fluffy fic
1. Chapter 1

Ciel stared at the the same page of the draft for 10 minutes straight yet no new words register to his brain. His mind was too much engulfed in thought of his love life. To put it simply, he's tired of Sebastian.

It might sound a little harsh, but he found no more 'feeling' in dating the tall man he used to idolize so much anymore. Every kisses and hugs felt no closeness or warmth and the weekend he spent with his lover felt more like a chores than something he look forward to.

Yes, now he definitely sounded like an asshole.

It's not something he wanted or anything he has control over for that matter. When they first going out in college, Ciel remember the butterfly, the mystery of love that make everything so pure and exciting at the same time. Now that they're together for 4 years, there is not much mystery to uncover about one another, there is hardly anything he doesn't know about Sebastian. There used to be a time they tried to make time for each other no matter how busy they were with schoolwork, back then, trying to be together is Sebastian or Ciel trying to come to the other's dorm, mostly it's Sebastian that come over. Now that they both graduate and Ciel move back with his parents, Sebastian can't come over all the time anymore. Ciel did not want his parents to know about his sexuality yet, mainly it's because of his traditional family. So Sebastian and Ciel doesn't meet up everyday like before anymore, just the weekends. Since Sebastian is popular and everything he even spend some of his weekend - their only time together- with his other friends, meet up and party anyway. News flash: Ciel learnt that he did not mind about that as much as before and somehow grateful that Sebastian was too busy to spend time with him so that he, Ciel, can have some alone time anyway. The initial shock took Ciel by surprise but now he just know he has no feeling for the man anymore anyway.

Ciel looked down at the draft in his hand again and he folded it and put it back into his briefcase. This has be to edited another time, he has no heart to edit it right now anyway. He glanced at his watch, noticing how Sebastian is late to meet up with him. Drowning himself to a cup of black tea as he waited, he found his mind drifting to a few days back, when it was his 4th year anniversary with Sebastian. They were together in Sebastian's new apartment. Sebastian was cooking as always, that even, Ciel was served with some seafood spaghetti and delicious chocolate layer cake.

It was that moment too Ciel realize they have nothing to talk about.

There is no more passion in this relationship. They always seem to appreciate each other's presence, and the fact that they first meet each other in a bookstore and talk later on for hours give a glance to their future relationship together that they will never run out of things to talk to each other. Ciel initial enjoy the first few years he was with Sebastian. They were equal intellectually and challenging each other is almost like a foreplay. So to have nothing talking to each other on their anniversary is like a wake up call to Ciel. That night, after dinner, Sebastian and Ciel cuddle on the sofa and watch some sappy romance story. Ciel felt the grip that Sebastian hold on him tighten after some time and almost feel sorry for him as Ciel realize he doesn't reciprocate the feeling anymore.

Ciel reach to his neck and pulled out the locket out of his sweater and study it. This is the anniversary gift Sebastian had given him. The gold round locket had a design of witch circle on top of it. It is something very vintage, something Ciel know Sebastian know Ciel would like. Beside the locket is a button. Ciel remembered Sebastian told him about the locket that night :

Sebastain was hugging Ciel tight and nozzle his head against the smaller male's neck. "I love you, Ciel."

"I know."

"Happy Anniversary."

And Sebastian pulled out from his pant's pocket, a gold round locket with vintage design.

"That's nice..." Ciel said, he too had prepared a gift for Sebastian. A matted BVL Gari watch Sebastian used to said he wanted. Ciel notice the click beside the locket, "what is this?"

"Don't open it."

Ciel stared.

"It's something important and effective only once... only open it when you feel doubt of my love Ciel."

Ciel felt like he could melted with love because of that. He doesn't not deserve this, and Sebastian deserve to know what's going on. _I don't doubt your love, Sebastian, it's my love you should be doubting..._

In any case Ciel felt like he's about to do the right thing now. He can't stand lying to Sebastian any longer. He may no longer feel love doesn't mean doesn't care for the other man. They are just not compatible anymore and Sebastian has the right to know the truth.

"Sorry I'm late, the jury took longer than usual."

"it's ok.."

Ciel waited until Sebastian seated himself in the the seat in front of him comfortably. When Sebastian is done though, Ciel felt like he's at lost of word. He did not know how to dump someone.

Ciel open his mouth when the waitress come and put a glass of water in front of Sebastian and gave him the menu.

"Sebastian.. I have something to tell you..."

"Oh yeah? Do tell " but before Ciel continue, "Order!"

The waitress come at Sebastian's service and Sebastian gave his order.

"you were saying?"

"ok... so i was thinking about us..."

Sebastian did not say anything and just stare at him waiting for Ciel to continue. Ciel look into those rare red eyes he had never seen before. He heaved a sigh one last time before breaking the news.

"There's no easy way to say this but ... I think we're better be just friends."

Sebastian did not look like he's surprised. Ciel try to spot a change in reaction but he sees nothing.

"Oh, ok. Fine."

Fine?

Fine?

4 years together and Ciel get a 'fine' for breaking up? Ciel expected Sebastian to be mad like real mad. Asking him for second chances, may be? Ask him why? But fine?

Ciel tried to calm himself down and explain what he truely felt further, yeah, make that would knock some emotion from that bastard, "I mean, it's not like i stop loving you. I do love you it's just i love you as a friend love another friend now. There's no passion anymore and it's only fair that I tell you this so you won't miss any opportunity to meet someone else in your life - "

Ciel speech was cut when the waitress come and she set the burritos and black coffee for Sebastian. Sebastian gave his usual smile to the waitress and started eating.

Minutes passed and Ciel started to feel like he's making a fool of himself.

"Sebastian, do you have anything to say to me?"

"Me? No, nothing."

"I'm breaking up with you."

"I get it the first time." this time Sebastian looked slightly annoyed but that's all he gave.

Ciel just blinked several times, "Don't you love me? "

"Does it matter? We're done"

Now that hurts. Ciel find it so difficult to try to break it gently to Sebastian, that has to count for something. But Sebastian doesn't look one bit affected by this break up. Doesn't Ciel mean something? Does this relationship amount to anything at all in that demon's heart?

Sebastian did not finish his burrito but he did gulp down all his espresso before he settle the cup and said, "Well, I believe we're done here now then. Goodbye, Ciel."

"Okay..."

And just like that Sebastian left the cafe.

And that's how SebaCiel break up.


	2. Chapter 2

After the break up with Sebastian, Ciel come back home, go straight up to his room without dinner. His mind is not exactly clear. Unlike the previous thought he used to entertain himself, after breaking up with Sebastian, he doesn't exactly feel 'free' as his thought he would be.

He took a shower and it's just 8 in the evening. What he's going to do now? Normally around this time he got home he went online and chatted with his boyfriend until bedtime. Now though he can have other options of couple things he could do. Edit the article now? Too lazy. Turning on his laptop, Ciel just went online and search for some movies to watch.

He was in the mood for some advanture genre but he can't seem to find a good one.

Pompeii, Scorpion King.. Mummy.. .Nothing new, He's already watched all those.

He switched to comedy series instead. Nothing amuse him, so he just go on YouTube, watch some funny cat vids but it seem those cats are only funny when he watched it with Sebastian. Sighed in frustration, he turned off his laptop.

May be he just needed some time getting used to this or find a new hobby he can enjoy doing in his free time at night.

"Yeah a hobby would do me good."

It's just 9:30 pm and Ciel decided it's bedtime.

Ciel's mood did not improve as the next day he received a very non-appreciative comment from his boss.

"Ciel, this is not what i ask for."

Ciel currently is being chewed out.

"I think the piece can be very interesting if it's written in the right way, sir."

"you mean if it's written in _your_ way. Your job is 1. editing stupid English grammar, something the writer overlook. 2. Confirm with them and then I will publish the work. You're not suppose to change any writing structure. Stop pissing off my writer and go back to work!"

"Understood." Ciel muttered before leaving, making sure he did not slam the boss's office. There's no benefits in giving his boss more reasons to fire him.

Ciel loves literature and he set out to be a novelist once he graduate. Things did not turn out great as he expected. He knew the literature market is shrinking. Not so many people enjoy reading anymore as their are more and more media of entertainment. Out of 100,000 or so writers, only a few managed to make a break through and sell besting-selling books. After being rejected by several publishing company, he finally win an interview with Victoria Publishing Co. However, even if he applied to be a writer, he only get the offer to be an editor. His boss who was also interviewing him that time, Angela, told him to be an editor for a year at least first before he can be a writer.

"Believe me, boy, you'll need a little more life experience than a college degree to become a writer. Just take a year or two observing those writing styles that sell first before you release your own debut. You don't want your first work to be a haunting downfall, do you?"

Because of those words, he now become a 9 to 5 salary man who edit stupid mistake like your - you're, there-their kind of thing. Those writers know better, of course, they're just too busy drafting than fixing these silly errors and so those silly errors dropped down as jobs for newbie like him.

God, how he wish to switch lives with those famous writers... The reason he take up literature is to spend his day doing the things he actually like - spending time daydreaming and writing stories that people die to read. Certainly he didn't hope to be stuck in here.

'Well, I guess it just had to start small at first...' he put the manuscript away and pick up his phone to type a text before remembering he can't just text Sebastian out of the blue. It's weird now that they're not together. In the past month though he did occasionally send a few texts throughout the day when he felt the need to complain about his boss or the writing he has been editing.

Urgh. This is annoying. Glancing at his watch, he noticed it's 3:14 pm now...2 hours more to go. Ciel shook his head to clear his thoughts and go back to editing.

Somehow he ended up staying at his desk until 6:30 pm. The editing was quick now that he only need to check the spelling and not try to change the whole damn text. But he stay a little longer, trying to decipher what make this work publishable and his not. So far, the only thing he realize is that girl character in the author's story is a hussy.

Deciding he wouldn't want to spend his evening pondering over nothingness like yesterday, he decided to stop by a pub near his work place before going home. The pub's name is 44. Ciel has no idea why anyone would name a pub after a number. It's not even a nice number in his opinion but that's none of his business.

Ciel sat on the far end of a booth, drinking ginger beer alone. The bitter taste is not something he fancied but the bartender suggest this is the one with the lowest alcohol percentage.

Going to any sort of public places is strange to Ciel. Part of him liking literature is because he has always loved quiet places and reading when he was a child. Public place offer him no serenity or sense of personal space whatsoever. During the time he dated Sebastian, their dates places consist of one another's dorm room where they enjoy each other's company. Surely, coming to a pub like this is pushing himself out of his comfort zone - might cause him anxiety to deal with stranger but better than lock up in his room thinking about the ex he dump but kinda miss right now.

Before he can continue is nostalgia, a tall glass of what look like vodka and a tangerine floats was set in front of him.

"I did not order this."

"The gentleman over there generous offer."

The bartender gesture toward the man in black well tailored suit and glasses. Once their eyes met, the man raised up his glass as if to cling glasses with Ciel. Not used to any sort of such gesture, Ciel turned away quickly to hide his burning face.

Is it normal to offer drink toward strangers like this? If romantic movies are trustworthy, that is an act of courting someone you like, right?

Ew... he was being courted by a man?!

But why the hypocrite? Didn't he date a man before? How is another man courting him make any different? Heck, he dated a man, he kissed a man and did most scandalous thing imaginable with Sebastian. This is way more PG13.

His eyes landed on the drink that the man offered. He should at least be polite and go over to say hi. With that thought in mind, Ciel finished his drink and carry the vodka in his hand, walking toward the sofa seat that the man in black suit and glasses occupy. He did not even dare to make eye contact during the time he walked toward the man - that is how socially awkward he is.

"Hello.. erm... thanks for the drink." He raised up his glasses violently some of his drink fell to the floor, he acted as though the man wouldn't understand what he said if he didn't do so.

Ciel watched as the man's eyes stared into his, then followed his hand as he raised the glasses and looked at the mess he made as he spilled his drink. His golden orbs then rested back on Ciel's face, a Cheshire cat grin pulled at the corner of his lips.

"No need to be so courteous, just have fun and enjoy your time."

"ermm. . . you mean you just buy me a drink and expect me to just drink it up and not expect anything else?" Romantic movie is a lie! Ciel was sure there is a part where there will be contact exchange or one night stand...

wait...! is this what the man want?

"What's running through your little head to make you blush like that, brat? I had nothing to do, you seem young and cute and so I get you some nice drink instead of that bubbly beer."

"Oh." was all Ciel could respond. Is this real? God, he never spend time outside with other people he's totally lost at places like that alone.

"Why are you alone?" Ciel blurted out before he could stop himself. He just felt like he need the conversation to flow.

"Well, why are you alone?"

"I got nothing to do. My shift just ended."

"So did mine."

"Do you usually come here?"

"I'm a loyal customer. Now do I answer enough question or do you think I get you a drink so you can interrogate me?"

Ciel's mind went blank from that point.

"Look. Rewind and enjoy your time, I don't get a you a drink so you feel obligated to accompany me."

But Ciel has nothing to do either.

"My name is Ciel." he said something stupid again before he could stop himself!

The man chuckled, "I didn't expect you to give your real name during situation like this, but okay- "

"You know me?"

"We work together, I'm in accounting."

What?

"Yes, we work together in Victoria Publishing Co., Ciel. I work 2 floors higher than you. People usually notice their co workers even if they are in different department but you seem to be clueless and oblivious toward other people whenever I see you."

Ciel take a good look at the man. Glasses. Golden-yellow eyes. Dark hair. Looking like he's 10 years or more older than Ciel. No. Ciel doesn't know this man.

"I see you around a lot actually. You seem to be the silent type, eating your lunch alone, only talk to others for work related issue. Somehow I see you a little down when you come to this pub so I offer a drink. Happy?"

No! How come he never see this guy!

"You work in accountant and you know me?" Ciel confirmed.

"Yes, you can check Claude from accounting with your coworkers tomorrow if you don't believe me."

"I see, so you're my senpai! I'm suppose to buy you a drink not the other way around!"

"Save it, brat." the man - Claude - sighed, "you're just a rookie right? Keep your money, you're earning so little."

Ciel almost blushed at the comment, "Hey!"

But the embarrassment died down fast. Soon Ciel found himself talking to the Claude guy more comfortably knowing they are co workers. They talked about the work place in general, how they both disliked deadlines... after a few more gulp from the vodka that Claude offered, Ciel become suddenly fun to talk to. The drinks is sweet and the sweetness afterward lingers on his tongue making him wanting to gulp down more. Despite the sweet taste, however, it seemed to have much more alcohol than his previous drink. After another 2 refills - courtesy of Claude, Ciel found himself shifting toward Claude more and talk in an animated fashion.

The conversation somehow turned more personal and for some reason Ciel started talking about Sebastian.

"How's Sebastian?"

"My ex... my boyfriend.. he's so annoying when he's pretentious that he doesn't care I broke up with him and stuff but I know it's an act. . . he love me... he's like a dog.. .though he likes cat more... I don't know."

Ciel might have imagined it in his drunken state but Claude's eyes seemed to twinkled when he mentioned he had a boyfriend and had broken up.

"You're gay?" His suspicion might or might not have confirmed by Claude's interest in his sexuality. He did not really answer Claude but huffed in annoyance. The older man just sniggered and landed a hand over his shoulder, his other hand brushes some of Ciel's hair away from his face.

"Sorry for your break up, Ciel. Though I must admit I'm kinda pleased. This means you're single.."

Ciel did not like how that Claude guy pronounced his name as though he's taunting a child. Also, Ciel doesn't like how suddenly Claude has the tendency to have skinship with him.

The hand that brush his hair traced down along his face and jawline. How _gay_ is that? This is annoying. Ciel pushes the hand away. He doesn't like a man touching him. It's wierd.

"What? Still not getting over your ex? May be you just need someone to love you right?" Claude's voice sound so near to his ears, he heard the voice ringing in his head, or that could be his drunkenness. One thing he was sure, he felt something wet patting his outer earlobe. His eyes widen and his sense awaken. He pushes Claude away completely, almost sending the taller male off the sofa.

Bidding goodbye quickly, the small man stumbled away and make it out of the pub. He got into a taxi and got home in the silent night.

After creeping into the house silently without waking up his parents, he went to his room and take a long cold shower to wake himself up from his drunkenness.

God, he hated that stupid man from nowhere and he hated himself even more for letting himself being touched so weirdly like that!

Why is wierd that he's touched by a man when he has been touched so many times by that particular man! God, he's so confusing. He's gay, isn't he? He never dated in his pre teen, and Sebastian has been the only one he's dated so he has always been assumed he's gay. But from this night experience, he wasn't sure. Another man's touch is not at all appealing.

But what make it okay for Sebastian to touch him though?

Does that make Sebastian special?

The shower in the cold night shaken up the young man, and he chose to end his train of though and just hurry off to sleep.

* * *

Hello from Radiant Red (Yes, I'm Madame Red fan)!

There is no Sebastian in this chapter and he may not come back in a while. Sorry to say that but Ciel will need to date several people and discover the secret in Sebastian's locket before realzing what's really wrong with his love life. Hope you guys stick with this fic till the end. Thank you.


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